To Catch a Butterfly Read online

  “If I’m even close would you tell me?”

  “Nope.” Stevie grinned “You’ll have to wait and see, Jesus you’re worse than a little kid.”

  Adam grabbed her feet playfully “You’re mean!”

  “You look like your dad when you smile.” Stevie put her head on her pillow, Adam looked at her then laid his head back looking at the ceiling.

  “What’s wrong?” Stevie knew every expression on Adam’s face.

  “Nothing.”

  “Adam, I know you, what is it?”

  ‘He’s not my dad.”

  Stevie sat bolt upright “What?”

  “He’s not my dad I’m adopted.”

  Stevie frowned and then hit his leg “That’s a terrible joke, you almost had me going!”

  Adam eased himself up onto his elbows “I’m not joking, I promise.” His expression convinced Stevie and she crossed her legs, her hands gripping her feet.

  “Adopted? When did you find out?” Her eyes were wide, unbelieving.

  “Ages ago, I can’t remember exactly, they sat me down and just told me, I didn’t make a big deal of it, I mean they’ve brought me up as their own so I just accepted it and here we are.”

  “So Beth’s not your mum either?”

  “No.”

  There was a silence as Stevie absorbed it all and Adam waited patiently for her next question.

  “What about your real parents?”

  “I don’t know, I didn’t ask.”

  “Why, aren’t you curious?”

  “Not really, I know something bad happened but I’m not sure what it was, I heard them talking once about some newspaper cuttings and that they would show me one day.”

  “Jesus.” Stevie ran her hand through her hair.

  “Look it’s no big deal, the way I see it I’ve got a mum and dad who love me, they’ve brought me up like their own and whatever happened just meant that I was lucky enough to be picked by them.”

  “I know but, I still think I’d want to know, I mean about the newspaper cutting, what’s that all about, I would want to know exactly what it was all about.”

  Adam sat up “Anyway, more importantly what have you bought me for Christmas?”

  Stevie knew that was her cue to quit the questions and the discussion was over, he’d tell her one day, she knew him well enough to be sure of that.

  “Adam, just promise me something.”

  “What?”

  “That we never have any secrets, I mean you’re my best friend and I want you to be able to tell me anything.”

  “Okay, no secrets, but the same goes for you too.”

  “Okay.” Stevie swung her legs around and stood up and Adam took hold of her hand. “Right, as we now have this new rule you absolutely have to tell me what you’ve bought me for Christmas, no secrets and all that you said.”

  “Okay, it’s a jumper.” Stevie picked up the coffee cups walked to the door.

  “Really?” Adam got up and followed her.

  “Nope.”

  CHAPTER FIFTY

  Rose Fielding sat at the kitchen table with her head in her hands.

  “Here.” Elaine pushed a cup of tea under her nose and sat opposite her.

  “Did you send her to her room?”

  “Yes I did.”

  “What did the police say?’

  “They gave her a caution, you know I’m so angry I can’t even look at her, I can’t believe that my little girl has been caught stealing, I mean it’s Laura, she’s not the sort of kid that goes out stealing,” Rose paused for breath “And why does she have to hang around with that bloody Halliday boy, why couldn’t she have stayed friends with Adam and Stevie, they don’t get into trouble like he does. She used to be inseparable from that pair, this would never have happened if she’d stuck with them.”

  “Your friends change as you get older, mum.”

  “Adam and Stevie still see each other all the time, I often see them out and about, why did Laura stop seeing them?” Rose searched Elaine’s face for an answer.

  “You didn’t want Laura to see Stevie after her dad died, said she was going to turn out wrong.” Elaine said bluntly.

  “Well, I didn’t then, but she’s turned out okay so I wouldn’t have stopped Laura seeing her. Maybe they had a fight or something, I don’t know.”

  “I don’t think it was a fight, look, Laura had a crush on Adam and she asked him out ages ago, he said no and so Laura stopped seeing him, he spends half his time with Stevie so basically Laura doesn’t see either of them.” Elaine placed her hands palm down on the table “ Maybe she’s just rebelling.”

  “Against what?, what could she possibly have to rebel against, you haven’t ever been in any sort of trouble and I always treated you both the same.” Rose said exasperated.

  “No you didn’t mum…” Elaine stopped her mother in her tracks. “You treated her like she was always about to break, you wouldn’t let her do anything on her own because of her little turns.” Elaine made quotation marks with her index fingers.

  “What are you talking about? She was always out playing with Adam and Stevie.” Rose sat back in her seat.

  “Yes but only because you knew that they would look after her and walk her home.”

  “And what would have happened if she’d been on her own and had a turn half way across the road?”

  “I’m not saying it was wrong mum, I’m just saying that that’s the way it was, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “Oh well thank you very much for your approval in my ability to raise my own child.” Rose’s voice was raised and she began to turn red.

  “I don’t want an argument about it mum.”

  “Oh good.” Rose said sarcastically “Anyway look what happens when she is left alone, she hangs around with that little thief and gets herself arrested.” Rose’s eyes filled with tears and Elaine got up and put her arms around her mothers shoulders.

  “Hey, come on, don’t cry, loads of kids do stupid things when they’re her age.”

  “Not my kids.” Rose sniffed and retrieved a handkerchief from up her sleeve. “Anyway, why didn’t Adam want to go out with her, what’s wrong with her?”

  Elaine smiled “Well, she’s quite freckly and her ears are too big.”

  “She got those from your father.” Rose smiled back and Elaine laughed. Rose shushed her, not wanting Laura to hear.

  “Just talk to her mum, she’s not stupid, she’ll listen to you and I’m sure she’s learned a lesson from this.” Elaine paused “It’s nearly Christmas, let’s enjoy it as a family.” She reached down and took her mother’s hand.

  “Well at least one things for sure..” Rose took a sip of her tea “She’ll definitely like the C.D you bought her for Christmas.”

  “How do you know?”

  “It was one of the things she stole today.”

  They looked at each other and both burst out laughing at the irony of it. When they had composed themselves, Elaine made a fresh pot of tea and Rose went up to see Laura.

  CHAPTER FIFTY ONE

  Catherine stroked the top of Scruffy Boy’s head and picked up her car keys “Won’t be long boy.” She told him as she wrapped a thick tartan scarf around her neck. She stepped outside onto crunchy snow and looked up at the greying sky ‘plenty more up there’ she thought to herself with a smile, remembering Scruffy Boy’s antics from the evening before, bouncing across the garden, his tail swishing around as he jumped across the snow covered lawn like a rabbit. As he came back into the house he left wet paw prints across the kitchen floor and Catherine plonked him on her knee gently drying his fur with a towel as he licked his paw and dragged it across his ear.

  Catherine often wondered where he had come from and had looked at the cards posted in the windows of local shops, hoping no one had put one up asking where their beloved cat may be, and as always to her relief no one had. The way she saw it, he had chosen her, she didn’t steal him or coax him into her garden, it was his choi
ce and now five years on Catherine couldn’t imagine not having him around. He had his scratching post, his ping pong balls which he loved to play with and his favourite goldfish-on -a- stick -toy, he even had his own portrait hanging in the hallway. Lord of the manor was old Scruffy Boy.

  Catherine pulled into the supermarket and spotted the old man, her first encounter with him by the flower stall had lead her to think that he was a little eccentric, with his dishevelled appearance and buggy eyes. He always stopped to talk to someone, anyone, before he left the store, the same thing every time. And then, some four years before it all became very clear to Catherine as she was selecting a bottle of wine to accompany her dinner. She’d spotted him slipping half a bottle of whisky into his jacket pocket. Catherine had followed him and watched as he made his way to the front of the store, speaking briefly to a young woman before leaving. Catherine knew that the right and proper thing to do would have been to alert the store manager, but she never did.

  Today, the deed was already done and he was out of the doors and walking across the car park.

  Catherine stepped out of her car as he passed her “Hello Nick.” She said with a wry smile.

  The old man turned and looked at her “I’m sorry my dear I think you have me confused with someone else.”

  ‘No I haven’t, that’s the name I’ve given you.” Catherine closed her car door.

  “Given me? I don’t understand.” The old man frowned and wiped a hanky across his watering eyes.

  “I’ve named you Nick the whisky man, that is what you do isn’t it? Nick the whisky?”

  The old man looked around and with no sign of anyone about to place a hand on his shoulder and escort him back to the store he stared at Catherine.

  ‘I’m not entirely sure what you mean.” He tucked his hanky into his pocket.

  “I’m not about to turn you in, I just wondered why you do it, that’s all.” Catherine flicked her car keys around her finger, like a gaoler about to lock up the guilty.

  The old man smiled and nodded, as if agreeing that she deserved an explanation.

  “I take one half bottle every couple of weeks and the reason I don’t pay is because I can’t afford to, it’s as simple as that my dear.” He put his hands out in front of him “It’s a fair cop.” His eyes glistened.

  “And you’ve never been caught?” Catherine asked, stepping from one foot to the other in an attempt to stop her feet turning numb.

  “Not yet, but if I’m honest it frightens the life out of me every time I do it, I need a drink when I get home just to calm my nerves. I expect they’ll catch me one day and then, well, I’ll have to face that day when it comes.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Never been in trouble with the law in my life.” He shook his head “Never even had a parking ticket.”

  “Well, you enjoy it then, every drop.” They nodded at each other and Catherine watched him walk away, stopping briefly to chat to the young lad collecting the shopping trolleys that sat strewn around before making his way across the road, Catherine made her way to the entrance before turning briefly to see him go into a little house opposite.

  Inside the store Christmas music was playing over the speakers and the staff were wearing Santa hats and flashing brooches. Trolleys overflowing with Christmas goodies whizzed past her as she wandered down each aisle carefully selecting Scruffy Boy’s favourite tins of cat food and treats, she smiled as she noticed a cat stocking which was full of cat toys filled with cat nip, she thought he’d love it and popped one in her trolley.

  CHAPTER FIFTY TWO

  Stevie woke early on Christmas morning, the snow that had fallen the week before had all melted away but a crisp frost had lain overnight giving a white dust covering to the trees and cars outside. She quickly dressed and went downstairs to turn on the Christmas tree lights, briefly looking at the presents under the tree. She put the kettle on and looked out at the back garden. For a moment her father came into her mind and she remembered the gift he had bought her just before he died, she recalled talking to him on the phone and him saying he had bought her something and she didn’t have to wait until Christmas to open it. As it happened, she didn’t get to open it until a year after he’d died. It had been amongst a box of things that had been given to Marie after the accident. His watch, wallet, clothes and Stevie’s gift, wrapped in paper covered in hearts. It was a framed butterfly, black and orange like the one she had chased in the garden just before he went away. It hung now on Stevie’s bedroom wall.

  This would be the first Christmas since her father had died that her grand parents weren’t spending with them, Stan and Cynthia had brought Stevie’s presents over two weeks before, and John and Vera had as always given her an envelope which would contain money. “Well, we don’t know what youngsters are into these days, she can buy herself something.”

  Stevie went back into the front room and peered out into the darkness, she could see lights on in the house opposite and thought about people waking up all over the island, excited children, expectant faces waiting to see what Father Christmas had brought them. She hoped that Adam liked the silver necklace she had bought him. The subject of him being adopted had not been discussed since, although Stevie had been itching to talk about it to him, she knew well enough that Adam would talk when he was ready to. She hadn’t said a word to anyone, not even Marie. Their relationship over the years had had its ups and downs, it was now built on mood swings and tolerance, Marie was prone to ferocious mood swings and Stevie had come to tolerate them. The one thing they had shared was their adoration of Stevie’s father and they both missed him terribly. He had been the mediator, the calming influence on Marie, he’d kept it all together, often without realizing that he had, or even that he needed to.

  “Morning.” Marie surprised Stevie.

  “Blimey, you’re up early, the kettle’s just boiled.” Stevie turned and went into the kitchen to set out the mugs.

  “I couldn’t sleep in, my feet are fucking freezing.” Marie finished the sentence with a yawn. “What are the Christmas tree lights on for?” She tied her dressing gown tight around her and plonked herself into the armchair.

  Stevie tinkled a teaspoon around the top of her mug and sighed. Another day her mother was going to ruin, no doubt.

  “What time’s Adam coming over?” Marie squinted at the clock “Bloody hell Stevie, it’s five o’clock, what time did you get up?’

  “About five minutes before you.” Stevie brought the tea in and sat on the sofa. “He’s having dinner first, he’ll come over afterwards.”

  “Did you send Laura a card?” Marie leant forward to pick up her mug.

  “Yeah, she sent one back, can’t remember which one’s hers.” Stevie scoured the cards which hung on string around the walls.

  ‘Got a lot this year didn’t we?” Marie lit a cigarette.

  “Yeah.” Stevie nodded “Do you want a biscuit?”

  “No.” Marie tucked her feet under her, trying to warm them.

  ‘What time are we putting dinner on?” Stevie opened the chocolate biscuits.

  “Oh not ‘til later, it’s only a small turkey, should only take a couple of hours, three maybe.” Marie snapped, “I don’t know why we bother having bloody turkey anyway, it’s stupid, just the two of us.”

  Stevie didn’t respond, determined to ignore her mother’s miserable mood.

  “Just think this time next year, you’ll have left school.” Marie sniffed.

  “Yeah, I’ll be working.”

  “I should hope so, do you still want to work with animals?”

  “Yeah, I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do though.”

  “You could be a vet, get your own business.”

  “Yeah but that takes years and years.”

  “So?, you’ve got years and years, I wish I bloody did.” Marie blew smoke up towards the ceiling.

  “What do you mean? You’re still young you could train to do something. What do you fancy?” Stevie tutted as she watched
her dunked biscuit break off and float in her tea for a moment before disappearing to the bottom of her mug.

  “I like working at the surgery, that does me alright. I never was the academic type, hated bloody school.”

  Stevie smiled “Were you bad at school, misbehaving I mean, I bet you were?” Stevie seizing the opportunity to engage Marie in reasonable conversation.

  “I was always in detention, used to get caught smoking all the time by Mr Bridgewell, he was like the fucking Gestapo, used to bang on about young girls getting pregnant before they left school. Two of my mates already were, one of them, Karen Hingle who was fifteen, always good at sports she was, could run like a rabbit, skinny as a rake. I can remember her telling me in the toilets that she was pregnant, she was crying and getting herself in a right old state.”

  “Did she have the baby?” Stevie asked.

  “Yeah, she ended up having five altogether, all girls.”

  “Five kids?” Stevie raised her eyebrows “Jesus.”

  “Yeah, she obviously did something else like a rabbit as well.” Marie surprised herself with a smile.

  ‘How old were you when you fell pregnant with me then?” Stevie got up to make herself a fresh cup of tea, chocolate from the biscuit in her mug was now floating on top.

  “Too young.”

  “How old? You must have been in your early twenties?” Stevie called from the kitchen. “Was I planned?”

  “Not really.”

  “You don’t regret having me though do you?” Stevie stood in the doorway and folded her arms.

  “No.” Marie turned to look at her.

  “I don’t think I want kids.” Stevie said pensively.

  “You’re only fifteen, I wouldn’t even think about it yet if I were you, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, I didn’t want kids when I was your age.”

  “What made you change your mind?” Stevie turned back into the kitchen.

  “It just happened I suppose.” Marie sighed.

  “Do you wish you had more?”